Break Up Help

The intense emotions experienced during a break up can quite often be overwhelming and we may feel as if they will never end. Rest assured this is a perfectly normal way to feel, it is simply a matter of time before they do go away.


You will feel distressed, angry and sad at the end of a relationship. This is common amongst almost all people experiencing a break up. Do not deny these feelings, as denial will only result in you wallowing in your own pity for an extended amount of time. Instead, embrace the feelings and allow yourself by crying, listening to music, talking about your feelings with a friend or writing poetry etc. These are all healthy and appropriate ways of expressing your feelings and by acting in such ways you allow yourself to accept and ultimately let go of these emotions. The faster we are able to let go, the faster we are able to move on.


Some people act out in inappropriate ways, with the intention of hurting their ex partner or other people. By all means, refrain from acting out in such ways as it will only result in you feeling worse about yourself and being unable to let go of the intense feelings and emotions you are experiencing.

You may find you are angry as you are blaming the end of the relationship on your ex partner. It is important to address this thought, and remind yourself that the end of a relationship is no ones fault. It does not mean that there is anything wrong with you or our ex partner, it means there was something wrong with the relationship itself. Remaining in such a relationship would be cheating yourself out of one that is right for you, so in a sense your ex partner has done the right thing by both of you.


Many people will ‘guilt trip’ their ex partners into returning to them, as an immediate means of easing the pain. This is not the right way to get over a break up as it will result in feelings of resentment between you and your ex partners and will ultimately lead to a more painful break up down the line.

Remind yourself that there is someone out there for you. Just because this relationship has not been successful does not mean you will be alone forever.

Think about what you have learnt from this relationship. Try to picture any downfalls of the relationship. Acknowledging these aspects of the relationship will aid in you accepting your ex partners decision and will help you move on sooner.

 

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